Monday, July 6, 2009

Why Fly Swatters Work

Q. - what's the last thing to go through a fly's brain just before it hits your car windshield?

A. - it's @sshole.

And that is why flies are known as the A-holes of the insect world. They are a major filthy pain in the ass whether they, or you, are indoors or outdoors. Flies can sense the opportunity of an open door or window in a heartbeat and zoom right into your home. They are also amazing escape artists.

So back to why fly swatters work -- they work because they are scientifically designed to work against the fly's natural defenses to be swatted. Forget the rolled up newspaper, that's for intimidating your dog when he messed up on your new wall to wall. Forget using your flip flop sandal or your baseball cap, that tiny high pitch noise is the little bugger laughing at you as it zeroes in on your ham sandwich as it's next landing zone.

The fly escapes swatting because it has to ability to sense the whoosh of in-coming air in it's general direction from whatever you may have in hand to smash it to smithereenies. And unless you are some sort of kung-fu master, you'll never catch one with your bare hands.

The simply ordinary fly swatter however, has holes or slots cut out of the swat head.
And this greatly reduces the air whoosh which the fly uses to calculate take off and escape. Still it does take some speed on your part because the little nasty bugger has eyes that see in every direction imaginable. But you can get good at this, you really can. I smashed four flies the other day before my morning coffee. Even my cats were impressed... they look at me like it's my job now to keep the vermin out of their litter box.

I have fly swatters strategically placed all around my home especially in the summer months. But some hardy flies will survive even in winter. I keep my eye on the target, wait for it to land, while reaching for the swatter and I try to come from the side instead of from the top.... oh, make sure you cover your drink if you have one near by.... and execute. Literally.

Many times when your make your hit, the fly does a screaming death flip and you never know where it may land.... so take precautions to cover or remove your food or drink, if possible.

Fly tape is also simply, cheap and works remarkable well. However, it is extremely ugly to have hanging in your home especially if you entertain a lot. Fly swatting is so much more satisfying and if you make a game of it, it can be fun.
It's much cheaper than chasing flies with your Buick and who knows, if you get good enough you may even be able to challenge Mr. Obama to a fly swatting contest.

Practice makes perfect -- check this out - before PETA has it removed:
http://majman.net/fly_loader.html

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